


Wanky

by fhartz91



Series: Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2020 [6]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Daddies!Klaine, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, Humor, Husbands, Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2020, Light Angst, M/M, mention of some really raunchy sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:29:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhartz91/pseuds/fhartz91
Summary: An unfortunate find in a secret drawer leads poor Tracy to believe that she's getting a dog for Christmas, and leaves Kurt stuck between a rock and a hard place: does he stick to his guns, or does he traumatize his sweet, innocent daughter for life?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Series: Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039725
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48
Collections: Klaine Advent 2020





	Wanky

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2020 prompt 'learn'.

“Hey, guys!" Kurt sings from the front door, brushing snow off the shoulders of his coat before he crosses the threshold. "We’re back!”

"Sorry we took so long," Blaine says, "but we had a heck of a time finding ..."

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you!” Tracy squeals, leaping into Blaine’s arms the second he comes to a stop in their living room. "Both of you! Thank you so much!"

“Thank us?” He wraps his daughter in a bear hug, confused as all get out but in no way stupid enough to turn down a hug. “Thank us for what? Kurt?” 

Kurt shrugs, making a  _ don’t know _ noise as he sheds his coat and hangs it, returning quickly for a turn in the hug rotation. "Brittany? Santana?" He looks expectantly at the ladies who have been watching their daughter all afternoon. "Do you know what's going on?"

Brittany, hands behind her back, shifts her weight anxiously from foot to foot, while Santana, arms crossed over her chest, looks nearly gleeful. It’s Santana's glee more than Brittany’s anxiety that makes Kurt’s back start to sweat. 

“It seems Tracy here was poking around in your naughty bits and found herself a little treat.”

Kurt and Blaine shoot her confused looks, though Kurt’s leans more towards annoyed.

“Can you be any less vague?” Kurt asks.

Santana grins. “No.”

Brittany carefully enters the conversation. “Tracy may have accidentally figured out what you guys are getting her for Christmas.”

"And what are we getting her for Christmas?" Blaine asks.

Brittany swallows hard. "A ... a dog."

Tracy dislodges herself from Blaine's torso and latches on to Kurt’s.

"What?" Kurt says, dumbfounded.

“Didn’t we specifically say no to a dog?” Blaine whispers. 

Kurt hugs his daughter tight, stealthily covering her ears with his hand. “We did."

"So how did she come to that conclusion?” 

“She found this.” A guilty smile flickers across Brittany’s lips as she brings a hand out from behind her back and shows Kurt something that makes his face turn paper white. He doesn't have to look at his husband to know that Blaine is wearing the same dropped-jaw, mushroom pale expression of horror that he is.

Brittany is handing him a black leather collar with a row of rhinestones across the front.

When Kurt comes to his senses, he reaches for the collar, eager to tuck it out of sight. 

Mortifyingly, Tracy intercepts it. 

She eyes it reverently. But then she sighs, her expression slipping from overjoyed smile to apologetic frown. 

“I’m sorry I snooped in your special drawer.”

“Didn’t we make it perfectly clear that drawer is off-limits?” Blaine asks, crouching to talk to her.

“You did.” Tracy hugs the collar to her chest, afraid the dog she has wanted for so long might be slipping away from her.

“Then why did you look in there?”

“It seems a little birdie told her it’s only off-limits because that's where you hide her presents,” Santana explains, maneuvering her shrinking wife behind the protection of her body. “Poor, impatient Tracy couldn’t resist.”

Kurt glares over Santana’s shoulder at Brittany, who completely disappears behind her wife. 

Blaine stands, ruffles his daughter’s hair, then takes his husband by the elbow and gives him a tug in the direction of the kitchen. “Excuse us, Peanut. I need to talk to your Papa alone for a minute.”

“Ok, Daddy.” Tracy releases Kurt and walks glumly towards Santana, sighing significantly as she slips into her arms, still hugging that collar to her chest.

_ That’s _ the scene that kills Kurt.

Tracy hugging that collar.

The collar he wears on his and Blaine’s "special" nights out.

The kind where they pretend they don’t know one another, and they flirt in a bar like strangers. Blaine picks him up with a proposition, money exchanges hands, and they spend all night in a room at a no-tell motel with Blaine riding him, pulling his hair hard, calling him his "good little bitch".

Yup. His nine-year-old daughter is hugging  _ that _ collar.

“Oh my God!” Blaine says the second they're behind closed doors, a hint of amusement in his tone that gives Kurt an urge to flick him on the forehead. “What do we do? What do we do?”

“I hope we’re agreed that she doesn’t deserve a thing if she’s invading our privacy!”

“Yeah … well … hmmm …” Blaine waffles. 

Kurt’s eyes go wide. “Blaine!”

“To be honest, Kurt, I don’t know what you have against the family having a dog. Tracy has wanted one forever. It would be a good companion for her. Besides …” He looks down at his hands, twiddles his thumbs “… I … kinda … want one.”

“That’s great!” Kurt snaps, frustrated since he thought they were a unified front on this issue. “But tell me this - who’s going to take care of it? Huh? Who's going to feed it and walk it and clean up after it when it vomits on the floor at three in the morning? I’ll tell you exactly who’s going to do all of that!  _ I _ will!”

“We can teach her to be responsible! She’s at that age!”

“This isn’t the way things like this are supposed to work! If she wants a dog, she needs to earn it! Not commit a misdemeanor! That proves she’s not mature enough! And if we give in, we'll be perpetuating that behavior!”

“Technically, it’s not her fault. You heard what Santana said.”

“Yeah, well, that only proves someone else is culpable. It doesn’t change the fact that Tracy broke the rules. In fact, if she thought her Christmas presents were in that drawer, that makes things worse!”

“This one indiscretion aside, she deserves a dog! She’s a straight-A student. She keeps her room clean without being told. She helps out with dinner, the laundry, the dusting. And let’s face it, between your trophies, my trophies, and all the other knick-knacks in this house, she deserves a dog for that alone!”

“I am not going to make this decision on the spur of the moment! We need to talk about boundaries, hash out rules!”

“Fair enough."

“Which we will do  _ after _ the holidays!”

“And what do we do until then?” Blaine asks, his eyes brimming with the same disappointment Tracy’s had. He'd started getting excited when he thought Kurt might cave. Now Kurt's pulling a "we'll see". “She already found the collar. How are you going to explain owning that if we aren’t getting her a dog for Christmas? Which is in about a week, by the way.”

“We’ll be honest with her,” Kurt decides. “We’ll explain, in age-appropriate terms, why we have that collar.”

Blaine jerks back, the fringes of a chuckle tickling his throat. “So … she’s mature enough to know about your collar kink, but not old enough to own a dog?”

“I’ll … cross that bridge when I get to it, all right?” Kurt mumbles, his face turning bright red. "But for now, that's my final decision! End of discussion! Take it or leave it!"

Kurt turns on his heel and heads for the living room. He will not be manipulated into giving in, even if this whole thing did start with a misunderstanding.

He opens the door and spots Tracy rocking in Blaine’s recliner, looking at pictures on Brittany’s phone, while Brittany and Santana sit beside her, making encouraging comments. 

Tracy, still hugging that Godforsaken collar, looks like she’s been crying. 

Brittany looks positively devastated, as if she didn’t just ruin Tracy’s chance for happiness, but helped her get the dog of her dreams, then ran it over with her car.

Santana leads the conversation, which Kurt assumes is about clothes - one of Tracy’s favorite things to window shop. But as Kurt walks closer, he catches a peek at the screen, and his heart deflates. During his and Blaine’s conversation, Tracy had started a Pinterest board titled ‘My Favorite Dogs in the World’. Brittany and Santana are helping her add to it – teacup poodles, Pomeranians, Chihuahuas, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel ...

_ 'That one's cute,'  _ Kurt thinks when he spots the silky thing.  _ 'That fur would be fun to style. We could do it together! A bright pink bow, maybe a sparkly barrette ...' _

The sparkly barrette brings his mind back to his collar, and he gives himself a hard, mental shake.

_ 'No. Don't waver. Stay the course.' _

He approaches his daughter slowly, preparing himself for the worst conversation of his life so far. 

Kurt swallows hard. “Tracy?”

Tracy looks up at him with watery eyes. “Yes, Papa?”

Her bottom lip wobbles.

_ Ugh! This is going to be impossible! _

“There’s something I need to explain to you … about that collar.”

“Yes?”

Kurt crouches down in front of Tracy, meeting her eye to eye. “You see, sometimes when you buy a collar, it’s for a dog.”

“A-ha …” Tracy says, hopeful ... and mildly confused.

“And sometimes, two people … two grown adults who don’t own a dog ... might buy a collar to …”

Brittany and Santana both gasp when they realize what he’s doing. 

Brittany stares like a deer in headlights.

Santana, on the verge of a laughing fit, gets up and leaves the room.

“Yes, Papa?”

“Well, they might buy a collar because …”

“Because …”

"Because ..." Kurt looks at Tracy, silently wishing she'd catch on without him having to say another word. Not catch on to what they use the collar for, but catch on to the fact that no, they will not be getting a dog right now. He looks into her huge, brown eyes, so much like Blaine’s, her hopeful expression dimming with every second of this asinine explanation. 

Is he really going to do this? 

Is he really going to tell his beloved daughter that she's not getting a dog because that collar she found is one of her fathers’ favorite sex toys? That the last time they used it, Kurt was wearing it, and Blaine was riding him like a bronco, growling obscenities and smacking his ass?

No! He can’t do that! 

What responsible parent would!?

When Kurt first found out he was going to be a father, his own father gave him some valuable life advice. 

“When you become a parent, you sort of fool yourself into believing that you’re in charge. You're the teacher," his dad had said. "But in reality, parenting will put you on your ass over and over until you realize you know nothing. But you learn. And one of the most important lessons you’ll ever learn is to pick your battles. Because situations will come up that you’ll never dream of, things that you hope to never handle. But, in the end, when you’re debating right and wrong, you have to decide – are you doing what’s best for your child? Or what’s best for you? Because, surprisingly, the two aren’t always the same.”

In short, Kurt has to choose between psychological trauma, pet dog, or sticking to a rule that's rigid simply because bending it would hurt his ego.

When he thinks of it in those terms, the answer is simple.

His father, as always, is right - mostly.

The most important lesson Kurt will learn from this particular situation is that he needs to get a lock on that damned drawer!

Because watching their new pet tromp through the house wearing that collar is going to burn his eyes every day of his life until he dies.


End file.
